Where 'Bama At??

Has anybody out there ever noticed that black people and white people do things differently? I’d like to talk about this. I also want to talk about the trouble men and women have communicating, how airline food is not as good as normal food, how driving in traffic is frustrating, how woman “be shopping all da time”, and express my frustration about the fact that they don’t just make the whole airplane out of the black box material, but those are all topics for other blogs. Ha!

For now, it’s a witty observation about blacks vs. whites.

When out at the club, at the bar, in the car, or at a party, most of the time there is music playing in people’s social lives. As a bar/nightclub manager, DJ, and bartender over the last few years, I have a slightly more intimate relationship with that music, and also the people’s reaction. In noting all of this like a modern-day Darwin with the dancefloor as my Galapagos, I’ve noticed two very interesting patterns that I believe are related:

This first is that white people NOT from Alabama go crazy when “Sweet Home Alabama” comes on. I can get it if you’re from Alabama. Failed by equally by literacy, language, and soap, it must be nice to have a (easily remembered and emulated) catchphrase involving your home. But being the but of most stupid and/or trash jokes, why would people around the country go crazy every damn time they hear that guitar lick? Frothed to a frenzy by the chorus, they audibly ejaculate “Sweet Home ALABAMA” with the vigor of a aging queen at a Cher concert.

Could it be the mocking of Neil Young? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ben Quam don’t need Neil Young around for nuthin’ neither. But a common hatred for the whiny voiced Yoko that ruined CS+N would be lost on Joey Frat‘tard, and surely he must have SOME fans out there, so that cannot be the reason. I also doubt there are many fans of Muscle Shoals studios or their (phenomenal) studios band “The Swampers” although their incredible playing has appeared with everyone from Clapton to Aretha Franklin.

So what is it? Is it swept under the “people love stupid shit” rug, to remain there with Vin Diesel movies, Larry The Cable Guy specials, white hats with “funny” team names like Cocks or Seamen, NASCAR, Nickelback, the WWE, and hair gel? Are white people just that dumb?

The answer is NO. Wanna know why I’m sure?

Because the same amount of black people NOT from Brooklyn freak out every damn time that any rapper shouts “Where Brooklyn At?”

Urbandictionary.com has no definition of the phrase made so ridiculously popular by the late Christopher Wallace a.k.a. the Notorious BIG, but it probably started with Mr. Wallace longing for some chums from his beloved neighborhood to signal him on stage somehow so they could reminisce their collective days of yore.

Not overlooking the fact that Minneapolis is flanked by both Brooklyn Park AND Brooklyn Center, I had to take my fact finding expedition on the road to see if it still held true in markets as diverse as Chicago, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Columbus, and Vegas. Let it be known, in any city in America, when the DJ lets the line “Where Brooklyn At?” blast out of the speakers, be it car, club, or otherwise, black people will lose their minds like they were getting a personal shout out over the mic from Biggie himself.

Let’s pause for a recap:

1. White people everywhere freak out for “Sweet Home Alabama”
2. Black people everywhere freak out for “Where Brooklyn At?”

Oddly enough, you cannot flip the two and still have it true. While most white people who wish to be black will celebrate both “Sweet Home Alabama” AND “Where Brooklyn At?” most blacks wishing to be white tend to scoff at both songs entirely. I’m sure Darwin was just as perplexed by some of his findings.

In this, the era of the “mash up” I plead for one DJ out there to make a trak of both together to see what happens. We’ll call it the “Rodney King Can’t We All Just Get Along remix” to promote the racial harmony. We’ll drop it on the world and they won’t even know what hit ‘em!!! Who’s in??